80+ Wittiest Tyrion Lannister Quotes

Tyrion Lannister Quotes

Tyrion Lannister is a fictional character in the novel series A Song of Ice and Fire, written by American author George R. R. Martin. If you haven’t read the books, then you probably know him from the TV adaptation to the novels, Game of Thrones, where he is portrayed by actor Peter Dinklage. In this article, we bring you the best and wittiest Tyrion Lannister quotes.

The Lannister family is one of the most powerful and wealthiest in the continent of Westeros, and Tyrion is the youngest in the family. He is the child of Lord Tywin Lannister, the patriarch of House Lannister. Tyrion was born a dwarf with his mother passing away during his birth, which made his father resent him ever since.

Tyrion enjoys drinking wine and is known to be very witty. He is a loved character by many and The New York Times chose this character as one of finest creations by George R. R. Martin. As for Dinklage who played Tyrion in the TV series, he has won 4 Primetime Emmy Awards for Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Drama Series as well as a Golden Globe Award for Best Supporting Actor in a Series, Miniseries, or Television Film.

And now, it’s time to enjoy some of the best Tyrion Lannister quotes.

Table of Contents

Tyrion Lannister Quotes from Season 1

Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.

Season 1, Episode 1, Winter Is Coming.


Should I explain to you the meaning of a closed door in a whore house, brother?

Season 1, Episode 1, Winter Is Coming.


Everything’s better with some wine in the belly.

Season 1, Episode 2, The Kingsroad.


A mind needs books like a sword needs a whetstone.

Season 1, Episode 2, The Kingsroad.


Death is so final, whereas life… ah, life is full of possibilities.

Season 1, Episode 2, The Kingsroad.


Not this time. We’ll be staying at the finest castles and inns. No one turns away a Lannister.

Season 1, Episode 3, Lord Snow.


If you’re going to be a cripple, it’s better to be a rich cripple.

Season 1, Episode 3, Lord Snow.


I have a tender spot in my heart for cripples, bastards and broken things.

Season 1, Episode 4, Cripples, Bastards, and Broken Things.


What sort of imbecile arms an assassin with his own blade?

Season 1, Episode 5, The Wolf and The Lion.


Listen to me. Sometimes possession is an abstract concept. When they captured me, they took my purse, but the gold is still mine.

Season 1, Episode 6, A Golden Crown.

Tyrion Lannister Quotes from Season 2

You love your children. It’s your one redeeming quality, that and your cheekbones.

Season 2, Episode 2, The Night Lands.


I’m not questioning your honor, Lord Janos. I’m denying its existence.

Season 2, Episode 2, The Night Lands.


The King is a lost cause, it’s the rest of us I’m worried about.

Season 2, Episode 5, The Ghost of Harrenhal.


Schemes and plots are the same thing.

Season 2, Episode 5, The Ghost of Harrenhal.


I remember reading an old sailor’s proverb, ‘Piss on wildfire and your cock burns off.’

Season 2, Episode 5, The Ghost of Harrenhal.


We’ve had vicious kings, and we’ve had idiot kings, but I don’t think we’ve ever been cursed with a vicious idiot for a king!

Season 2, Episode 6, The Old Gods and The New.


It’s hard to put a leash on a dog once you’ve put a crown on its head.

Season 2, Episode 7, A Man Without Honor.


I will hurt you for this. A day will come when you think you are safe and happy, and your joy will turn to ashes in your mouth. And you will know the debt is paid.

Season 2, Episode 8, The Prince of Winterfell.


Don’t fight for your king and don’t fight for his kingdoms. Don’t fight for honor… don’t fight for riches, because you won’t get any.

Season 2, Episode 9, Blackwater.


They say I’m half a man, well what does that make the lot of you?

Season 2, Episode 9, Blackwater.


You can’t fuck your way out of everything.

Season 2, Episode 9, Blackwater.


Would it be excessive of me to ask you to save my life twice in a week?

Season 2, Episode 10, Valar Morghulis.


These bad people are what I’m good at. Outtalking them. Outthinking them.

Season 2, Episode 10, Valar Morghulis.

Tyrion Lannister Quotes from Season 3

I try to know as many people as I can. You never know which one you’ll need.

Season 3, Episode 2, Dark Wings, Dark Words.


I’m quite good at spending money, but a lifetime of outrageous wealth hasn’t taught me much about managing it.

Season 3, Episode 3, Walk of Punishment.


I don’t pay you to put evil notions in my head. The ones already there don’t need company.

Season 3, Episode 7, The Bear and the Maiden Fair


There you have it. Nothing to worry about. Drinking and lust. No man can match me in these things. I am the god of tits and wine… I shall build a shrine to myself at the next brothel I visit.

Season 3, Episode 8, Second Sons


Every time we deal with an enemy, we create two more.

Season 3, Episode 10, Mhysa.


It’s not easy being drunk all the time. Everyone would do it if it were easy.

Season 3, Episode 10, Mhysa.


Perhaps you should speak to me more softly then. Monsters are dangerous and, just now, kings are dying like flies.

Season 3, Episode 10, Mhysa.


The Northerners will never forget.

Season 3, Episode 10, Mhysa.

Tyrion Lannister Quotes from Season 4

Well, speaking as a fellow second son, I’ve grown rather used to being the family insult.

Season 4, Episode 1, Two Swords


A toast. To the proud Lannister children: the dwarf, the cripple, and the mother of madness.

Season 4, Episode 2, The Lion and the Rose.


Testifying against me wasn’t a suggestion. If they can’t tempt you with honey, they’ll choose something less sweet.

Season 4, Episode 3, Breaker of Chains.


I’m guilty of a far more monstrous crime. I’m guilty of being a dwarf.

Season 4, Episode 6, The Laws of Gods and Men.


I wish I was the monster you think I am! I wish I had enough poison for the whole pack of you! I would gladly give my life to watch you all swallow it.

Season 4, Episode 6, The Laws of God and Men.


You might be surprised. A Lannister always pays his debts.

Season 4, Episode 7, Mockingbird.


Turns out, far too much has been written about great men and not nearly enough about morons. Doesn’t seem right.

Season 4, Episode 8, The Mountain and The Viper.


Laughing at another person’s misery was the only thing that made me feel like everyone else.

Season 4, Episode 8, The Mountain and The Viper.

Tyrion Lannister Quotes from Season 5

The powerful have always preyed on the powerless, that is how they became powerful in the first place.

Season 5, Episode 1, The Wars to Come.


Long, sullen silences and an occasional punch in the face. The Mormont Way.

Season 5, Episode 5, Kill the Boy.


A ruler who kills those devoted to her is not a ruler who inspires devotion.

Season 5, Episode 8, Hardhome.


Killing and politics aren’t always the same thing! When I served as Hand of the King, I did quite well with the latter, considering the King in question preferred torturing animals to leading his people.

Season 5, Episode 8, Hardhome.


It’s easy to confuse ‘what is’ with ‘what ought to be,’ especially when ‘what is’ has worked out in your favor.

Season 5, Episode 9, The Dance of Dragons.


In my experience eloquent men are right every bit as often as imbeciles.

Season 5, Episode 9, The Dance of Dragons.

Tyrion Lannister Quotes from Season 6

Next time I have an idea like that, punch me in the face.

Season 6, Episode 2, Home.


I’m here to help. Please don’t eat the help.

Season 6, Episode 2, Home.


That’s what I do. I drink and I know things.

Season 6, Episode 2, Home.


A wise man once said the true history of the world is the history of great conversations in elegant rooms.

Season 6, Episode 3, Oathbreaker.


As a clever man once told me, ‘We make peace with our enemies, not our friends.’

Season 6, Episode 4, Book of the Stranger.


One day, after our queen has taken the Seven Kingdoms, I’d like to have my own vineyard. Make my own wine. The Imp’s Delight. Only my close friends could drink it.

Season 6, Episode 8, No One.


The Masters cannot let Meereen succeed. Because if Meereen succeeds, a city without slavery… a city without Masters… it proves that no one needs a Master.

Season 6, Episode 9, Battle of the Bastards


Are you afraid? Good. You’re in the great game now. And the great game’s terrifying.

Season 6, Episode 10, The Winds of Winter.

Tyrion Lannister Quotes from Season 7

Conquering Westeros would be easy for you… but you’re not here to be queen of the ashes.

Season 7, Episode 2, Stormborn.


It’s been a long road, but we’re both still here.

Season 7, Episode 3, Queen’s Justice.


I trust the eyes of an honest man more than I trust what everybody knows.

Season 7, Episode 3, Queen’s Justice.


You need to take your enemy’s side if you’re going to see things the way they do. And you need to see things the way they do if you’re going to anticipate their actions, respond effectively, and beat them.

Season 7, Episode 6, Beyond The Wall.


Nothing. Sometimes nothing is the hardest thing to do. If you die, we’re all lost.

Season 7, Episode 6, Beyond The Wall.


A foreign whore you can’t abduct, beat or intimidate. That must be difficult for you.

Season 7, Episode 7, The Dragon and the Wolf.

Tyrion Lannister Quotes from Season 8

Our people haven’t been friends in the past. But we must fight together now. Or die.

Season 8, Episode 1, Winterfell.


Many underestimated you. Most of them are dead now.

Season 8, Episode 1, Winterfell.


At least Cersei won’t get to murder me… I’m sure I’ll feel some satisfaction denying her that pleasure while I’m being ripped apart by dead men… Maybe after I’m dead… I’ll march down to King’s Landing and rip her apart.

Season 8, Episode 2, A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms.


We still have to take King’s Landing. Maybe Cersei will win and kill us all. That would solve our problems.

Season 8, Episode 4, The Last of The Starks.


If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t have survived my childhood. You were the only one who didn’t treat me like a monster.

Season 8, Episode 5, The Bells.


What unites people? Stories. There’s nothing more powerful in the world than a good story.

Season 8, Episode 6, The Iron Throne.


Sometimes, duty is the death of love. You are the shield that guards the realm of men. You’ve always tried to do the right thing, no matter the cost. You tried to protect people.

Season 8, Episode 6, The Iron Throne.


Love is more powerful than reason. We all know that.

Season 8, Episode 6, The Iron Throne.

Tyrion Lannister Quotes from The Books

Why is it that when one man builds a wall, the next man immediately needs to know what’s on the other side?

A Game of Thrones.


My brother has his sword, King Robert has his warhammer and I have my mind…and a mind needs books as a sword needs a whetstone if it is to keep its edge. That’s why I read so much Jon Snow.

A Game of Thrones.


Once you’ve accepted your flaws, no one can use them against you.

A Game of Thrones.


All dwarfs may be bastards yet not all bastards are dwarfs.

A Game of Thrones.


Let them see that their words can cut you, and you’ll never be free of the mockery. If they want to give you a name, take it, make it you own. Then they can’t hurt you with it anymore.

A Game of Thrones.


My sister has mistaken me for a mushroom. She keeps me in the dark and feeds me shit.

A Storm of Swords.


Noseless and Handless, the Lannister Boys.

A Storm of Swords.


She never forgets a slight, real or imagined. She takes caution for cowardice and dissent for defiance. And she is greedy. Greedy for power, for honour, for love.

A Dance with Dragons.


Pissing is the least of my talents. You ought to see me shit

A Dance with Dragons.


Drowning was bad enough. But drowning sad and sober, that’s too cruel.

A Dance with Dragons.


And what lesson can we draw from Volantene history? If you want to conquer the world, you best have dragons.

A Dance with Dragons.


Every touch a lie. I have paid her so much false coin that she half thinks she’s rich.

A Dance with Dragons 2: After the Feast.


The Gods give with one hand and take with the other.

A Clash of Kings.


Those are brave men. Let’s go kill them.

A Clash of Kings.


The Lord of Winterfell would always be a Stark.

A Clash of Kings.


Perhaps that is the secret. It is not what we do, so much as why we do it.

A Clash of Kings.

Interesting Facts about Tyrion Lannister

After you’ve enjoyed Tyrion’s quotes, because Lannisters always deliver, it’s time to get to know the character even more. So, here are some interesting facts about Tyrion Lannister that you may or may have not known about. Enjoy.

  1. He Loves Books – Tyrion loves books and is actually a bookworm. He considers knowledge a true power that can be used as a weapon and just like quoted earlier in the article, a mind needs books like a sword needs a whetstone.
  2. He’s a Skilled Acrobat – In the 1996 novel “A Song of Ice and Fire”, Tyrion does a cool stunt when he meets Jon Snow for the first time. He performs a backflip off a roof and sticks the landing in front of Snow. That’s cool and impressive.
  3. The Origin of His Scar – Tyrion’s face scar is the result of the Battle of the Blackwater, by the hands of Ser Mandon Moore. Actor Peter Dinklage actually has a similar scar, only it’s smaller than his character on the show. He got into a car accident and has a scar from his neck to his eyebrow.
  4. More Episodes Than Any Other Character – The character of Tyrion Lannister has appeared in more episodes than any other character on the show. After all, he may be the most interesting and wittiest of them all.
  5. His Birth Was Viewed as a Bad Sign – Apart from the fact that Tyrion’s mother died during birth, which made his father resent him ever since, Tyrion’s birth was viewed as a sign for war and famine. Aerys II Tarygaryen told Tywin Lannister that the birth of his son Tyrion was in fact punishment for his arrogance.
  6. Got The Part Without Even Auditioning for it – Peter Dinklage got the part of Tyrion Lannister in the TV series without even auditioning for the part. The reason is because both George R. R. Martin and the creators of the show wanted only him to play the part of Tyrion and considered no one else.
  7. His Love for Dragons – Tyrion loves dragons and even asked to own one as a birthday present from one of his uncles. That of-course did not happen, so he used to start fires in Casterly Rock and just stare at the flames for hours, imagining that it was dragon fire.
  8. The Character in the Books is Different – Tyrion Lannister’s appearance in the books is different than how Peter Dinklage looks like when he portrays Tyrion in the TV series. In the books, Tyrion has a large forehead, mismatched eyes, and a patchy beard. He also waddles when he walks due to his inflamed joints.

For more quotes from timeless characters, please see our pages dedicated to Iron Man quotes, Indiana Jones quotes, Captain Jack Sparrow quotes, and best movie villain quotes of all time.

Recent Posts