It’s time to have a big laugh, as we’ve gathered for you some of the best and funniest Beetlejuice quotes!
Beetlejuice is an American fantasy comedy film that was directed by Tim Burton and starring Michael Keaton, Alec Baldwin, Geena Davis, and Winona Ryder.
Baldwin and Davis are the Maitland couple. Recently deceased, they become ghosts who hunt their former house, while Keaton is Beetlejuice, a devious poltergeist from the Netherworld, doing his best to scare away the new residents.
The film was a huge success, turning $15 million budget to $73.7 million and also became a favourite cult classic.
The movie won the Oscar (Academy Award) for Best Makeup as well as three Saturn Awards: Best Horror Film, Best Supporting Actress (Sylvia Sidney), and Best Makeup. Due to the success of the movie, an animated television series was created, video games released, and even a 2018 stage musical was produced.
Here is a sneak peek at the quotes in this article:
Juno: What’s wrong?
Barbara Maitland: We’re very unhappy.
Juno: What did you expect, you’re dead.
Otho: You’ve read my mind! So few clients are up for the experience!
Beetlejuice: We come for your daughter, Chuck.
Beetlejuice: Whew! Thank you, thank you! That is why I won’t do two shows a night any more, babe, I won’t, I won’t do ‘em.
Preacher: Do you Betel?
Beetlejuice: Ah! Oo, oo, oo, oo, ah, ah, ah! Nobody says the “B” word!
Lydia Deetz: My whole life is a dark room. One. Big. Dark. Room.
Barbara Maitland: No. Lydia. We’re dead.
Lydia Deetz: I wanna be dead too.
Adam Maitland: Barb, honey… we’re dead. I don’t think we have very much to worry about anymore.
Beetlejuice: YOU BUNCHA LOSERS!!! YOU’RE WORKING WITH A PROFESSIONAL HERE!!!
(kicks over a tree and looks at it for a few seconds)
NICE FUCKING MODEL!!!
(He then grabs his crotch and squeezes it twice and a sound of a bike horn is heard as he does this)
Beetlejuice: The only one I think I can deal with is Edgar Allan Poe’s daughter. I think she understands me.
Beetlejuice: Go ahead, make my millennium.
Adam Maitland: What are your qualifications?
Beetlejuice: Ah. Well… I attended Juilliard… I’m a graduate of the Harvard business school. I travel quite extensively. I lived through the Black Plague and had a pretty good time during that. I’ve seen the EXORCIST ABOUT A HUNDRED AND SIXTY-SEVEN TIMES, AND IT KEEPS GETTING FUNNIER EVERY SINGLE TIME I SEE IT… NOT TO MENTION THE FACT THAT YOU’RE TALKING TO A DEAD GUY… NOW WHAT DO YOU THINK?!?!?!?!? You think I’m qualified?
Charles Deetz: As soon as we get settled, we’ll build you a dark room in the basement, okay?
Lydia Deetz: My whole life is a dark room. One big dark room.
Delia Deetz: So you were miserable in New York City, and now you’re going to be miserable out here in the sticks. At least someone’s life hasn’t been upheaved.
Beetlejuice: Not so fast, round boy. We’re gonna have some laughs.
Beetlejuice: I’m the ghost with the most, babe.
Beetlejuice: Let’s turn on the juice and see what shakes loose.
Juno: Never trust the living.
Lydia Deetz: Are you Night of the Living Dead under there? Like all bloody veins and pus?
Otho: Don’t mind her. She’s still upset that somebody dropped a house on her sister.
Barbara Maitland: What’s the good of being a ghost if you can’t frighten people away?
Beetlejuice: IT’S SHOWTIME!
Delia: Open this door, you dead people, or we’ll bust it down and we’ll drag you out by the ropes you hang yourselves with!
Lydia Deetz: Shh! They didn’t commit suicide.
Delia: It doesn’t matter. Lydia, I have a chance to teach you something here: you have got to take the upper hand in all situations or people, whether they’re dead or alive, will walk all over you.
Beetlejuice: Because if I tell you, you’ll tell your friends, your friends are callin’ me on the horn all the time, I gotta show up at shopping centers for openings and sign autographs and shit like that and it makes my life a hell. Okay? A living hell.
Preacher: Do you take this woman to be your wedded wife?
Beetlejuice: Oh geez, I don’t know. I mean, it’s kind of a big decision isn’t it? I mean, I always said if I ever did it, I was gonna do it once and that was it.
Juno: Okay, have you been studying the manual?
Adam: Well, we tried.
Juno: The intermediate interface chapter on haunting says it all: get them out yourselves, it’s your house. Haunted houses aren’t easy to come by.
Barbara: Well, I can’t clean anything properly. The vacuum’s out in the garage and we can’t leave the house. Why don’t they tell us something? I mean, where are all the other dead people in the world? Why is it just you and me?
Adam: Maybe this is heaven.
Barbara: In heaven there wouldn’t be dust on everything.
Janitor: That’s the lost souls room; a room for ghosts that have been exorcised. The poor devils. That’s death for the dead. It’s all in the handbook.
Beetlejuice: Come on. Think of it as a marriage of inconvenience, okay? We both get something. I get out, and you get to say you’re hitched to the most eligible bachelor since Valentino came over.
Beetlejuice: I’m Lydia Deetz, and I’m of sound mind. The man next to me is the one I want. You asked me, I’m answering. Yes, I love that man of mine.
Beetlejuice: Thank you. Thank you. That, is why I won’t do two shows a night anymore babe, I won’t.
Interesting Facts about Beetlejuice
Now that we had some fun with great and funny Beetlejuice quotes, I believe it’s time to share some interesting facts about the movie, so hold tight, because here we go…
- Director Tim Burton preferred Sammy Davis Jr. as Beetlejuice – Sammy Davis Jr. was 63 years old at the time, but that didn’t stop Burton for wanting to give him the role of Beetlejuice. It was David Geffen, the producer of the movie that suggested actor Michael Keaton to play the role of Beetlejuice. He was then chosen and from that point on, everything’s history.
- Anjelica Huston almost got the role of Delia Deetz – Anjelica Huston was supposed to play the role of Delia Deetz, but unfortunately due to an illness, the role eventually went to Catherine O’Hara. She refused to play the part, but was convinced after Burton flew to meet her in person. Even a marriage came out of it, as Huston married Bo Welch who was working as a production designer at the time for the movie.
- The original ending of the movie was different – The original ending of the movie had Beetlejuice being destroyed by exorcism, and the house of Adam and Barbara was supposed to shrink to the size Adam’s model town. Also, the Deetz were supposed to move back at the end to New-York, while Lydia stayed to be raised by Adam and Barbara.
- The role of Lydia Deetz was rejected by many actresses – Boy, this list is long: Diane Lane, Brooke Shields, Molly Ringwald, Sarah Jessica Parker, Lori Loughlin, Jennifer Connelly and Justine Bateman, all refused to play the part of Lydia Deetz. Actress Juliette Lewis decided to audition for the part, but it was Wynona Ryder who eventually won the part.
- The movie could have had a different title – The executives of Warner Brothers were not fond of the name Beetlejuice for the movie and tried to have it changed to House Ghosts. Director Tim Burton then suggested (jokingly of course) to call the movie Scared Sheetless and was amazed that the Warner Brothers actually considered his suggestion for a while.
- Beetlejuice is named after a star – Yes, Beetlejuice is named after the star Betelgeuse in Orion constellation.
- The song “DAY-O” was played in a real funeral – The song “DAY-O” by Harry Belafonte is remembered quite well from the movie, along with the dance sequence. Apart from the movie, this song was also the last song to be played at the memorial for actor Glenn Shadix who passed away in 2010. Shadix played the role of Otho in the movie Beetlejuice.
- You don’t see a lot of Beetlejuice in the movie – Although the movie is called Beetlejuice and he has an important part in it, Beetlejuice is seen in the movie for approximately 18 minutes and that’s it. Bear in mind that the movie is 92 minutes long, so most the of the movie, Beetlejuice is not even seen.
- Test audiences convinced that the movie should have a happier ending – The early draft of the movie had Beetlejuice being stuck in the model house of Adam and Barbara while being plagued by sandworms. However, because the audience loved Michael Keaton’s green-haired ghoul, Burton decided to have a different ending where Beetlejuice is hassling a woman who is sawed-in-half, before being hexed by a witch doctor.
- Reference to a real flight crash – While Adam and Barbara wait in the after-world office, a message can be heard over the PA. That message announces the arrival of flight 409. This is actually based on a real plane crash that happened in 1955, when flight 409 went down mysteriously, killing everybody on it.